


we're nineteen and we're on fire

by YuiH



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Casual Sex, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative elements, Sexual Content, Swearing, i don't know how to use tags, team Taka-centric, team taka - Freeform, they're all university students, will add character/relationship tags as we go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-08-25 00:04:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16650454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuiH/pseuds/YuiH
Summary: In which Sasuke is not over his ex, Suigetsu is bad with emotional stuff, Karin is constantly angry and Jūgo doesn't know how he got here. Oh, and they all just started university and live together.A lot of other Naruto characters appear, everyone's love lives get very complicated and they make a lot of mistakes. But isn't that what being young is for?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! It's been forever since I've actually posted any fanfiction but I'm rewatching Naruto and I decided to come back to writing and posting my works. I hope someone still reads Naruto fanfiction!  
> If you're not okay with gay relationships or gay sex, just don't read this. Sexual content is only mentioned in the first chapter, but some sexual scenes may show up in further chapters!  
> The way the university life looks here is based on my own university experiences, that's why it may be a little different from what you're familiar with (depends on where are you from I guess).  
> The title comes from Lorde's Perfect Places fragment "I'm nineteen and I'm on fire".  
> Also please note that English is not my first language even though I know it quite well.

"A month into university and I already think about killing myself again" mumbled Sasuke under his breath, trying to prepare his instant noodles. He was a terrible cook to be honest, but he decided to stop relying on Karin and Jūgo all the time. A pretty bad idea.  
"Jesus, Sasuke. Being emo again?" Suigetsu sipped on his second or third coffee of the day, annoyed.  
"Fuck off."  
"Why so rude? I can help you with cooking if you want."  
"You're just as terrible as I am. We would burn the house down in a second. Where's Jūgo anyway?"  
"Jūgo, Jūgo. As if we couldn't take advantage of the fact that they aren't home" Suigetsu approached Sasuke and bit lightly on his ear.  
"Hey, stop"  
"Yeah, yeah, just kidding. Jūgo will be here soon anyway. He was talking to someone about animals when I was leaving the classroom" Suigetsu said, deciding to have fun with Sasuke later. "I hope he does some shopping."  
"Why didn't you do it?"  
"And why didn't you? You were here first"  
"Studying."  
"Yeah, right. You're taking university really seriously, aren't you?"  
"I just want a degree. And maybe to stay at university as a professor or scientist instead of teaching children maths" Sasuke shrugged. "You on the other hand aren't even going to finish the first year if you keep getting drunk all the time"  
"My current knowledge is two times wider than the people from my year. I don't have to do anything yet."  
"Yeah, tell yourself that"  
"Besides, you're drinking with me too, you fucking hypocrite!"  
"Because you force me to go drinking with you all the time so I can prevent your inner hoe from coming out, which doesn't even work!"  
"Hey, you two" said a calm voice from the corridor "don't fight again"  
"We're not fighting" said Suigetsu, sounding offended "that's our normal conversation and you know that"  
"Your normal conversation is fighting" said Jūgo, taking off his coat. Sasuke took his instant noodles and sat on the couch, while Suigetsu made himself coffee. "Oh my god, do you want me to cook for you? You're going to get a cancer if you eat those all the time, Sasuke. And Suigetsu, if you drink so much coffee your heart is going to explode"  
"Thank you for this daily dietary advice, but I'm not going to listen. Our classes are too early for me not to drink coffee. Soon I'll have to inject caffeine right into my veins"  
"Maybe if you'd actually sleep at night you wouldn't need it"  
"Oh, fuck off. Sleep is for losers"  
"Besides, I'm cooking some dinner. Spaghetti. Anybody wants some?"  
"Okay, okay" Sasuke shrugged "I can have a small portion"  
"Me too, while you're at it" decided Suigetsu, laying on the couch and resting his head on Sasuke's arm, much to the latter's annoyance.  
"Fine. I'll leave some for Karin, too. She'll be back late today."  
"Good, that'll spare me the bitching about how dirty my room is. Like why would she even care? It's my fucking room"  
Jūgo sighed. Sometimes he wondered about how did he end up with these three, but that would require going back to high school - specifically to the first day of it, when the annoying white-haired kid sat next to him and asked if he's maybe the bully from his primary school (right when Jūgo started to let go of his indeed dark past); then the third day, when the bitchy redhead girl sat next to them at lunch (mostly due to the lack of free tables, but the fact she chose them over their girl classmates was quite meaningful); then the first day of second grade, when the arrogant boy with emo hair was joining their class and Suigetsu asked him if he's over My Chemical Romance splitting up already.  
*  
Karin walked into their apartment exactly at the right moment to see Suigetsu, wearing only a towel around his waist, walking out from the bathroom.  
"Jesus FUCKING Christ, Suigetsu! Didn't we talk about controlling your exhibitionism?"  
"What the fuck do you mean?" Suigetsu made a face. "I'm covered"  
"It's better than the times when you were going around naked, but still, I didn't need to see this. Wear pyjamas at least when I'm home"  
"I sleep naked."  
"Ew. I can't believe my room is next to yours"  
"It's there so you're not too close to Sasuke's room." Karin blushed furiously.  
"I have no idea what do you mean." Despite what she just said, she sat next to Sasuke, who just finished studying and came back to the living room, and put her hand on his knees. "Hi, Sasuke"  
"Hi, Karin. No touching" he said, moving from her a little. She frowned. Still nearly-naked Suigetsu took a seat on the other side of Sasuke and tried to put his hand dangerously close to his friend's crotch. "That applies for you too, get your hand off me"  
"That's not what you said last night" grinned Suigetsu, mostly to just piss Karin off, since he didn't _actually_ touch Sasuke last night (or last week, to be honest), but he liked to watch her freak out at the thought of them fucking ever since she accidentally walked on them at that weird party in high school.  
"Gross" she said, making a face.  
"Funny how your homophobic views don't apply to Sasuke"  
"I'm not homophobic. It's you specifically who is gross"  
"Suigetsu, stop annoying Karin" said Sasuke.  
"Yeah, you're right. Winners don't need to talk to losers."  
"Cut it, you exhibitionist fucker!"  
*  
The next day when Suigetsu and Jūgo came back from classes, they were almost convinced nobody else was here until they heard Wake Me Up When September Ends from Sasuke's room.  
"I'll let you handle this" said Jūgo softly."You're the only one who can calm him when he goes in his depressed mood."  
"Right, sure" Suigetsu knocked. He wasn't usually (or more like almost always) knocking on Sasuke's door before entering, but when his friend got angsty it was better to be more careful.  
"Who's there?" Suigetsu bit on his tongue in order to stop himself from cracking some bad joke.  
"Suigetsu."A moment of silence.  
"You can come in"  
Sasuke was lying on his bed, looking at the ceiling apathetically. They were right, he was in his "angsty teenager" mood - Wake Me Up When September Ends was playing on loop, as always in such cases.  
"What happened?"  
"Nothing specific. I'm just not feeling well."  
"Liar. You don't get into that mood for no reason." This time silence lasted for about three minutes.  
"I bumped into Naruto today." Sasuke must have noticed the look on his friend's face and added: "What? It's not that surprising. We go to the same university, after all"  
"Yeah, I know. It's just that it hasn't happened before." Suigetsu stopped. The situation was much harder to handle than he has initially thought, since Naruto and Sasuke's feelings for him were involved.  
He remembered how Sasuke told him who Naruto was, when they had already been friends for nearly a year. When Sasuke decided to finally answer Suigetsu's explicitly asked question if he slept with another person before.  
_"I had a boyfriend. In my first high school. His name was Naruto. He and a girl called Sakura were my friends since middle school. In high school we decided to date. It lasted for nearly a year and yeah, we slept together. Happy now?"_  
_"And then, what happened? Did you just naturally fall apart because of you changing schools?"_  
_"No." Sasuke breathed in. "We got into a huge fight. Like to the point when it got physical. Over our... Character differences. Also, about my family who weren't pleased when they found out I was dating a guy, so I was conflicted between my boyfriend and living up to my family's expectations. Then me and my parents decided I will change schools. That's all."_  
_"So, you don't keep in touch?"_  
_"No, Not at all"_  
_"Would you like to see him again?"_  
_"Yes. No. Don't wanna talk about it."_  
It took some time for Suigetsu to get to know more about what happened, put the pieces together and realize Sasuke isn't over this relationship. And as it turns out, he isn't over it to this day.  
"Oh god" said Suigetsu, softer than usual. "Did you talk?"  
"Yes" said Sasuke, pain in his voice. "Very awkwardly. The worst part was him being overenthusiastic, as always, despite everything that happened. Like he was happy to see me. He is studying physiotherapy. Still friends with Sakura or so it seems. She studies medicine. Ambitious as always."  
"Is he seeing someone?"  
"For fuck's sake, Suigetsu, I don't know. But from the way he looks at Sakura I can assume that his childish crush on her maybe came back." Sasuke looked so helpless and angry that Suigetsu wanted to hug him, but he would probably get hit if he tried. Sometimes Sasuke was aggressive when he was delicate like that.  
"Jeez, Sasuke, I'm so sorry" said Suigetsu, not really knowing what to do. He was pretty bad with emotional stuff like that. "Can I do something to help you?"

_____ _

"Get me off" Sasuke stated, pointing shamelessly at his own crotch. Suigetsu couldn't help but chuckle.  
"Jesus, Sasuke, you pervert! Jūgo is here!"  
"I'll keep quiet. Besides, you're the one who talks, you damn exhibitionist"  
It was always like that between them, using sex as a cheap stress relief. Ever since the first time, when Sasuke got sad-angry drunk in second grade and when Suigetsu tried to calm him down he kissed him aggressively in response. For those two years they did it quite often, without dating or being exclusive (even though practically they very rarely did anything sexual with other people). They were fine with it, since they were both probably incapable of forming a functioning relationship in the near future.  
Suigetsu smiled a little, unbuttoning Sasuke's skinny jeans and kissing him so he that he wouldn’t make too much noise.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People from Sasuke's past start appearing in his life way too often. Also Suigetsu and Karin make some new friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This took waaay too long, but I'm currently drowning in university work, so I didn't have time to post it even though it was finished in my notebook at the beginning of the week. I hope there aren't too many mistakes in here (my keyboard is a little broken so typos may appear even though I tried to get rid of them).  
> I hope you enjoy!  
> There is no sexual content in this chapter (maybe very briefly mentioned)

"You're not going to believe what happened" announced Suigetsu and Karin simultaneously, the latter from the door of her room and the first from the corridor. They looked at each other angrily.  
"Now, now, chill" said Jūgo, following Suigetsu from the entrance. "Karin, go on." Suigetsu pinched Jūgo under the ribs.  
"Traitor" he whispered.  
"Okay so" Karin walked out of her room "you know that guy from the art department who puts a really excessive amount of make-up on his face?"  
"The one who tries really hard to sound punk?" asked Suigetsu, laughing.  
"Exactly. So today he randomly approached me during lunchbreak and started talking to me. I don't know, maybe he assumed we can be friends because we're both not nice, but he's probably nice under that "alternative" facade. But I kind of enjoyed talking to him anyways since he's not as annoying as all the cutesy girls from my year. He added me on Facebook and just asked if I want to go to some party hosted by art students this Saturday and I don't know. Should I go? Who invites strangers to parties? Is that normal?"  
"Is that all?" Suigetsu laughed again. "All that because you were invited to a party for the first time in your life?"  
"Oh, shut up if you don't have anything valuable to say."  
"I mean IT IS kind of weird to invite a random girl to a party but he probably wants to look cooler to other students, you know. Take advantage, go to the party, have fun, get super drunk, embarass him for his whole life. That's what I'd do" Suigetsu shrugged.  
"You may want to skip the last two points if you don't want to get Suigetsu's reputation but generally I agree" said Jūgo. "The more people you get to know the better. Suigetsu, you also wanted to tell us something?"  
"Yeah. Amusing, this also has to do with art students. So you know the guy with long blonde hair who always argues loudly with someone in the canteen?"  
"Seen him once or twice, yes" said Sasuke from the couch. "The one who looks like he used a lot of eyeliner but that's just how his eyes naturally look, right?"  
"Yes. His name is Deidara and today when Jūgo was talking to our biochemistry professor and I was waiting for him during lunchbreak this guy came to me, sat at our table and asked if I liked dick too"  
"He asked you _what_?" Karin raised her eyebrows so high they nearly disappeared under her hairline.  
"Seriously. I asked him what kind of question is that and he was like 'chill, I'm not looking for a boyfriend or fuckbuddy or anything. I just want to know other gay people son I can go to gay clubs with them and talk about gay stuff. So?' so I said that yes, I am, and he was like 'knew that, you radiate gay vibes and I've seen you with a hot black-haired dude, is that your boyfriend?' and I said that no, this is my friend and housemate because I'm not going to explain my private life to a stranger, at least not while sober! And he invited me to the same party at Saturday and mentioned that I can bring my "non-boyfriend" and even other people with me. Sasuke, Jūgo, do you want to go?"  
"Depends on how much work I'll have" answered Jūgo, while Sasuke just shrugged.  
"I don't know, maybe. One of Naruto's housemates studies art so I'm not sure if I want to"  
"I'll protect you from awkward conversations. I can pose as your boyfriend" Suigetsu smirked.  
"I'll pass, thank you"  
"The sarcasm wasn't neccessary"  
*  
It was already Saturday and they all decided to go so Karin was freaking out a little.  
"What should I wear? He said he'll pick me up soon. What if he meets one of you and decides to stop talking to me because my housemates are too weird?"  
"Oh, so you care after all" laughed Suigetsu, standing beside her in front of her wardrobe. "I thought the only guy you care about was Sasuke"  
"I don't care about Sasuke" she blushed. "And I don't care about Kankurō that much. I just want to have fun with him at the party, so it's better if I make a good impression"  
"Right, right. Wear this" he pointed to her lilac dress. "You look good in purple"  
"Okay." She looked surprised, Suigetsu almost never complimented her. "I'll consider it"  
Suigetsu felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Deidara.  
 **DEIDARA** : Do you maybe have a car? Me and my roommate actually have one but we're probably both gonna get shitfaced drunk so we don't want to take it. He can drive and we can pay for fuel.  
 **SUIGETSU** : Jūgo does, I'll ask him  
"Jūgo! Are you going to drive us there?"  
"I guess? I'm probably not going to drink anyway"  
"As always. Can we take Deidara and his roommate with us?"  
"Are they going to fit in? Karin, are you going with us?"  
"No, Kankurō will drive me. Do I look good in this?" She went out of her room so Sasuke and Jūgo could see her, followed by Suigetsu.  
"Yes, you look nice" said Jūgo and Sasuke nodded. For a second she looked overwhelmed by the latter's approval, but she noticed Suigetsu laughing and switched back to poker face.  
"What's so funny?"  
"Nothing, nothing. It fits you"  
"There's some car under the building, is that this guy, Karin?" asked Sasuke, looking through the window. All of his housemates came to look. Suigetsu whistled.  
"Damn, what a car! You caught a rich boy!"  
"Yeah, that's him"  
"Too much make-up, true, but he looks fine" decided Suigetsu, patting her on the back. She shook off his hand angrily. "Chill. See you there"  
"See you" she said, putting her shoes on. "Bye"  
Sasuke looked fine as hell, Suigetsu thought, especially for a person in just a Green Day t-shirt and ripped black jeans. And when he added a leather jacket it got even better.  
"I can't believe you can look _that_ good in such a basic ass outfit"  
"You and Karin always say I'm hot, so I guess it would be like that for any outfit" Sasuke smirked and Suigetsu started laughing.  
"Damn, we have to stop telling you that! We can't allow your ego to get even bigger!"  
"I'm not sure if that's even possible" added Jūgo, makiing Suigetsu nearly run out of breath because of laughter.  
"Jeez, Jūgo, since when you're so savage?"  
"Jūgo is always judging us a little" said Sasuke. "Also, you both look good too. Aren't we going?"  
"Yeah, Deidara gave me their address and it's on the way to that place so we can just pick them up" Suigetsu was still smiling because well, he knew he looked good in a black shirt with a little too many top buttons open.  
"Fine" Jūgo took out his car keys. "Let's go. I wonder how's Karin doing though"  
"We'll see at the place. I wonder if she managed to scare her date with her bitching enough for him to leave"  
"Oh come on, believe in her a little"  
*  
Suigetsu's mom once told him that he swears too much. Now he thought she should meet Deidara's roommate to change her mind. Hidan wasn't even angry, it was just in his nature to put curse words three times per sentence. He was als hot, Suigetsu concluded, not Sasuke-level hot but still: the silver hair, aggresive attitude and nice chest muscles visible under a little too tight shirt really rubbed Suigetsu in the right way. Not that Suigetsu would say that out loud, neither that nor the assumption that judging from how flushed Deidara and Hidan were leaving their apartment and the way looked at Hidan they may be a little more than roommates. He wouldn't like to piss Hidan off, so he just stayed silent.  
When they got out of the car, both Suigetsu and his roommates were surprised with how big and noisy the place was.  
"Do they just let anyone in?"  
"Pretty much, but I don't think anyone who isn't either from the art department or invited by someone from there would show up. They check bags, so if you have any alcohol better leave it in the car. Drugs won't be noticed, probably" said Deidara, unclear if he's joking or not, and took a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket.  
 _Of course_ Deidara smoked slims.  
"The inauguration for first years was so fun last year!" laughed Hidan, earning a look from Deidara.  
"You sure like to watch me suffer, don't you?"  
"I fucking love it"  
"So... You're both second years?" asked Jūgo quickly, trying to stop the incoming argument. He already realized in the car that those two were very short-tempered.  
"Yeah. We met in high school as the rebellious kids and we live together since no one else would put up with our bullshit" shrugged Hidan. "Hey, Deidara, isn't that girl damn similar to you?" They all looked in the direction Hidan pointed at and Sasuke took a deep breath.  
"Are you fine?" asked Suigetsu, raising his eyebrows.  
"This is a girl who had a crush on me in middle school. She was Sakura's rival in everything, but now they're supposedly friends and roommates. Also from what Sakura said when she and Naruto bumped into me that one time this girl's boyfriend looks a little like me and is Naruto's least-nice roommate. Please don't let her see me"  
"Fine, fine" said Jūgo and stood in front of Sasuke, making him innoticeable from where said girl was standing. "She found herself a boyfriend similar to you? Wow, that's dedication"  
"I think it's at least creepy" Deidara laughed, nearly choking on his cigarette. "Also, I'm prettier than her and since I'm older it's obvious who copied who when it comes to hairstyle"  
*  
Suigetsu's state was about to change from "tipsy" to "drunk" real soon. So when the Deidara-lookalike's boyfriend asked if he cat sit at their table and introduced himself as Sai, he didn't even find it weird.  
Sai looked nothing like Sasuke in his opinion though. He was skinny where Sasuke was well-built, very pale and everything about him screamed "stereotypically gay" even though he was (supposedly) straight, while Sasuke could easily pass as heterosexual. Also Suigetsu didn't find Sai hot. Amusing, yes, but attractive? No.  
Actually very amusing. Suigetsu has never met a person more direct than himself before. The guy seemed to have absolutely no filter when it came to what he was saying.  
"So you're my roommate's ex-boyfriend's roommate? Nice to meet you"  
"Nice to meet you, too. I think there is still some room at this table." Suigetsu was currently alone here, because Sasuke and Jūgo were talking to Karin and her date somewhere and Hidan went to the bar with Deidara to buy them some shots.  
"Okay. My girlfriend will be here soon. Your roommate was her first love, I hope she won't flirt with him too much. I mean we're exclusive but maybe she'll forget when she sees him... Not that I would care much, she's normally flirty anyway"  
"Chill, even if she tries to, he'll probably brush her off quickly. He's gay"  
"I know. Oh, she's here" Sauigetsu looked and... Damn.  
He was very gay, but he didn't need to like girls to notice this one was exceptionally beautiful, all blonde hair and confidence. And indeed, she was a little similar too Deidara.  
"Oh, hi! Sai, are we sitting here? Nice. I'm Ino, and you?"  
"Suigetsu." At the same moment, Deidara and Hidan arrived from nowhere with a lot of shots.  
"Oh, you're my doppelganger!" said Deidara loudly, like he drank a little too much (which was probably true).  
"Oh, it's just the hair"  
"On an unrelated topic GOD DAMN IT I hate this guy so much"  
"What? Who?" asked Suigetsu, confused.  
"Deidara has a crush" laughed Hidan.  
"I don't. There's a guy from the third year who said my paintings were trash. AND he's unwilling to be interested in me even though he's obviously gay." That sounded a lot like a crush, but Suigetsu stayed silent. "Also his art is fucking trash. I want to sleep with him and then break his heart"  
"Damn, petty. Also, too much info"  
"Fuck off"  
"SASUKE?" said Ino suddenly, making everyone jump in surprise.  
"Uh. Hi, Ino"  
"Hi, Sasuke! It's been years! I heard you dated Naruto in high school! Do you know I live with Sakura now?" God, she really was talkative. And it was impossible to stop her, even though Sasuke was obviously uncomfortable.  
*  
That was too much memories for Sasuke for one night. He heard too much about Naruto and Sakura from Ino "if I knew you liked boys I wouldn't have stalked you in middle school" Yamanaka and her weird boyfriend. He didn't want to hear about Naruto being happy, about Naruto crushing on Sakura, about Naruto making new friends, all of this was making his head hurt because he didn't want Naruto to forget about him like that. A part of him knew it was irrational to be this attached after over two years, but the bigger part was screaming "why are you so happy?! I'm still not over you and you are happy?! That's fucking unfair!"  
Yeah, Sasuke knew he was toxic. Whatever.  
So when Ino stopped for a second, he leaned to Jūgo and said:  
"I think I'm leaving. Are you leaving too?"  
"Yeah, it's kind of late. Suigetsu will be fine, I guess." Well, Suigetsu didn't look super fine after consuming a certainly unhealthy amount of alcohol, but he did come back home in worse condition, sometimes - also he seemed to have fun, so...  
They quickly said goodbye, waved to Karin and Kankurō and drove home in silence.  
Sasuke tried to fall asleep but he actually wanted to scream, to fight someone - and mostly to go to Naruto and tell him everything about how he felt, even though he knew it would be unfair. It was his fault for being unable to move on, said the part of him that was rational, but he told it to shut up.  
If he coulnd't be with Naruto, Naruto should at least suffer like he does.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke has way too many feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God this is so rarely updated  
> I got over my writing block during philosophy class so here it is! As always, sorry for any typos or mistakes. I seriously hope I'll get a new laptop for Christmas.  
> There's a slight amount of sexual content at the beginning of this chapter, but it's like two sentences. Also there is an element of unlinear narrative.  
> I hope you enjoy!

"Suigetsu, please stop rubbing your boner against me"  
"Mmm?" Suigetsu opened his eyes and blinked. That wasn't his room. Sasuke raised his eyebrow, clearly judging him. Oh, true. For some reason he decided to sleep here.  
"You managed to take a shower and fold your clothes but couldn't find your own room?"  
"No, it was a choice. I think." Suigetsu laughed and looked down. Sasuke was right, he had a slight problem in his underwear. "Sasuke..."  
"I'm not helping you with your morning wood."  
"This isn't morning wood. I think I had it when I got here"  
"Oh, so you had someone turn you on?" Suigetsu thought a little. Deidara. Shit.  
His fingers in blonde hair, the taste of cigarettes on his lips, hot breathing on his neck.  
"Yeah, maybe."  
"Okay, I'll help you if you're clean"  
"I took a shower!'  
"Fine, fine. You helped me recently, that's fair" Sasuke smiled a little and leaned down. Suigetsu grinned, surprised, Sasuke sucking him off was rare.  
He tried not to be too loud when Sasuke took him in his mouth and sucked hard. Feeling something after being turned on for a long time felt really good and soon he was coming in Sasuke's mouth, breathing heavily.  
"Holy fuck, thank you, that was great" he said and his friend just shrugged. "Also, are you fine? I mean talking to those people... Sorry, I should have told them to fuck off"  
"It's okay, I guess. That Sai guy is really weird. I don't see how is he similar to me"  
"Yeah, he's not." Suigetsu got up and stretched. "I'm going to put on some clothes. If you want to talk, just tell me"  
"Maybe later." Sasuke looked away. He had too many feelings, too many thoughts in his head, and didn't want Suigetsu to know.  
Suigetsu got dressed and, much to his surprise, found cigarettes in his jacket pocket.  
"Why do I have cigarettes here?" He asked, walking into the living room.  
"Deidara put them there. I don't know if on purpose or not" said Karin, annoyance in her voice. "After you went full hoe"  
"That wasn't _full_ hoe. Sixty percent, maybe"  
"Mhm. I had to do everything not to let Kankurō see you and I don't know if I succeeded. That would be so weird if he saw that"  
"You actually care a lot about him, don't you? Surprising."  
"Not a lot. But it was better than I thought it would be. He's a nice guy" Karin's voice got louder, as if she wanted Sasuke to hear from his room (which was probably true).  
Suigetsu opened the window and put a cigarette in his mouth. There was even a lighter in his pocket. He wondered if Deidara wanted to reward him for a nice makeout session with those gifts.  
"Do you have to smoke in here?"  
"I just wanted to check how do they taste when I'm sober." He exhaled the smoke and coughed. "Awful, actually"  
"Don't start smoking, Suigetsu, it's bad for you" said Jūgo from the kitchen.  
"Thanks, mom" Suigetsu rolled his eyes.  
"Anytime."  
*  
To be totally honest, Sasuke was far from okay.  
For some reason he started seeing Naruto's roommates or friends all the time. One of them, a guy with a ponytail who always had a cigarette in his mouth when he was outside, studied in the same building. Sasuke knew him because Sai introduced them to each other once when they met by the door.  
Speaking of Sai, it was literally impossible to get rid of him. Very often he would just show up there for no apparent reason. Sasuke considered wearing a hoodie and sunglasses indoors to remain incognito, but he figured that would not only not stop people from recognizing himbut also it would make him look really dumb.  
The long-haired smoker, Shikamaru, was a decent guy though. He sat with him once or twice and was generally nice but not in a weird way (like Sai for example) and Sasuke enjoyed talking to someone so laid-back once in a while. But talking to Shikamaru had one huge disadvantage - he was mentioning Naruto often.  
Sasuke had no idea if Shikamaru was aware of what happened between him and Naruto, but no matter if he did, it was hard not to freeze when the guy mentioned his hot-headed roommate. Sasuke had to constantly bite his tongue so he won't ask about Naruto's love life. Or his relationship with Sakura. Or if he does ever mention Sasuke.  
The worst thing of all - it turned out that both Naruto and Sakura were in the same department as Karin. Karin was aware of who they were in Sasuke's life, she didn't know the details, but it was enough for her to be very wary around those two. Sasuke had to remind himself all the time that he shouldn't ask her about them, that would be unfair to her. He didn't want her to talk to them but at the same time he desperately wanted Naruto to ask Karin about him. That was, obviously, very stupid, Naruto didn't even know Karin, but still.  
God, Sasuke had way too many feelings.  
It had to finally happen and once, when he went to pick Karin up so they can do some shopping together, he saw Naruto and Sakura leaving the building. And Naruto fucking waved to him. As if they were just some people who barely knew each other, as if Naruto wasn't the one who taught him how love felt, as if Naruto wasn't the one who helped him eperience happiness then took all of the happiness with him when they broke up, leaving just a shell behind.  
Sasuke knew it was his fault, it was all about him not being able to stay in a relationship without it becoming toxic, withouth being possesive, jealous, aggresive and trying to make the other person do everything he wanted.  
_Their first argument was about Naruto being much too friendly with other people, namely Sakura._  
_"She's our friend! It's normal I want to hug her! It's normal to kiss her on the cheek goodbye! Sasuke, come on, we were always like this!"_  
_"We weren't dating before!"_  
_"What's the difference?!"_  
_"To me there is a difference! Also she's not just your 'friend', she's your first love, isn't she?"_  
_"Yes, I did have a crush on her, but I love you, you dumbass."_  
_"Isn't it just like I'm your second choice?"_  
_"What the fuck, Sasuke? Come on, be sensible"_  
_"Go to her if I bother you"_  
_"But I love you, not her, you god damn idiot!"_  
_First of many arguments, obviously._  
_It was great most of the time, though. How they went out to dates to cheap coffee shops, how they kissed before going to their homes, how they talked quietly during classes, how Naruto pressed him against his bedroom wall, kissing his neck. Nobody, before or after, made Sasuke feel like this._  
_It was great most of the time. But it was meant to break someday._  
*  
"Do we have any booze? I can't take this anymore, not sober."  
"Jesus, Sasuke, what's gotten into you?"  
"Whatever. I just need to get my mind off things"  
"You're not drinking alone, come on"  
"Then drink with me"  
"You're aware that this is an incredibly unhealthy coping mechanism, right?"  
"I can't believe it's you who said this, not Jūgo" Sasuke smiled a little and Suigetsu laughed.  
"Jūgo! You have bad influence on me!"  
"You mean good influence?" Jūgo looked at them from the kitchen. "We have some wine. I'll drink with you, maybe"  
"You hate alcohol!"  
"That's a sacrifice for your sake"  
*  
Sasuke overshared a little, but he couldn't say it didn't help. And he didn't say anything about his past, just that it was hard to see Naruto again. When Sasuke was so fucking not over him.  
Suigetsu shook his head. They needed to get Sasuke out. If they couldn't help, maybe meeting new people would.  
That's what Suigetsu wanted to believe. Because while he tried not to show it, he was getting more and more worried about Sasuke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for kudos and/or feedback in advance!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you in advance if you decide to leave kudos and/or comments here!


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